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Disability Discrimination and Me.

​Disability Discrimination and Me.
I’ve seen posts circulating social media recently about how discrimination has affected people and their lives, and also about how people should be free to be themselves without the worry of being mocked, judged or bullied.

Being disabled, I’ve been discriminated against a few times in my life. But it’s not just in the workplace or at a job interview, it was in my personal life, too. It was from high school crushes and so-called friends. It was random people in the street. I’ve had guys say they wouldn’t date me because I’m a “cripple”; me having a stump was repulsive to them and a total turn off. I’ve had friends say they don’t want me to go swimming with them in case my stump scares their younger sibling. I’ve had another friend say I can’t go for a bike ride with them because I’d be too slow. Those are just a couple of examples. Kids can be cruel, too. Growing up, I had my fair share of comments from kids making nasty remarks about the way I walk and even about the way I talk (I’ve scarring from having tubes down my throat as I was a prem baby, born 13 weeks early so my voice is now husky and quiet). And I’m not going to lie, it really affected me! I often worry what people will think when I tell them I’m disabled. Every time I got into a relationship with a new guy I’d brace myself when telling them about my disabilities (I’m also blind in one eye) in case of rejection. It can be scary. You don’t know what their reaction is going to be. Will they accept you for who you are or run for the hills? 

Other than a few bad apples, I’ve been fairly lucky in my life to have surrounded myself with very caring and supportive friends and family who love me for me. We’ve certainly had some laughs down the road in regards to my prosthetic leg and funny mishaps. I will never live down the toe socks episode, that’s for sure! Or there was the time my sister and I went down the slide as kids. She was in front of me and for some reason held on to my prosthetic leg. As we were sliding down she accidentally pulled it off and it flew a few feet on to the wood chip ground. Suffice to say there were a few shocked faces! And that’s just a couple out of many stories for you haha. I’ve never taken myself seriously. Why have a chip on your shoulder and be angry at the world when you can find the funny? Laugh, love and live life to the best of your ability. There’s no point being angry and bitter all the time; it’s faaar too exhausting! 

I went on to have a career in business administration where I was with the same company for 12 years before I left to start a family. I have since worked in retail over the Christmas period for the past few years. Marks and Spencer were incredibly understanding of my disability and were so lovely to work for. Sadly, I couldn’t work for them last Christmas because I’d had my second baby so wasn’t ready to return to work yet.

Now that I have a little family of my own, I hope to bring them up with the same outlook on life. I will always teach them to be whoever the heck they want to be, do whatever job they want to do, and love whoever they want to love. They’ll get no judgement from me, just my love and support.

#disability #discrimination #loveislove #livelife #beyou #thisisme #acceptance #bekind #amputee #disabled

Baby Update!

Hi guys, I hope you’re all having a lovely weekend! I’m going to be posting 2 blog posts today (hopefully) and the first is about my ever growing baby bump!

I hit my 20th week of pregnancy last week so on the Monday I went for my second scan! Everything went really well and the baby is healthy and happy! Had to chuckle at its hands being up by its head and its feet in the air! It was so amazing to see its heart beating. I felt a little emotional seeing that. Still can’t believe I have a baby growing inside of me! 

20 week scan

Unfortunately the sonographer wasn’t positive about the sex of the baby. At the beginning of the scan the legs were crossed and later on during the scan the sonographer still couldn’t get a clear view as to whether it was a boy or a girl. I felt a little disappointed as I was SO looking forward to telling people what we were having (Aled on the other hand didn’t care either way lol) and being able to buy more gender specific things. We let everyone know how it all went and my mum kindly offered to pay for us to have a gender scan (which cost £69). I think she was as desperate as I was to find out what we were having!

So fastforward to this week! Thursday was gender scan day! I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep the night before! We walked into this lovely reception room with white sofas and turquoise coloured scatter cushions. First we had to fill out a form (a general terms and conditions/contract type of thing) and pay the remainder of the balance (you pay £25 deposit when you book the scan) then a few moments later the lovely lady sonographer lead us into the scan room. The scan actually had to be done twice because my bladder wasn’t full enough so she couldn’t get a good enough view in that region (the baby’s bum was sat on my bladder). Luckily I came prepared, so I had to go back into the reception room and chug down the bottle of water I had AND the bottle of coke (they suggest you drink/eat something sugary to get the baby moving) lol! About 5-10 mins later we went back in to try again. It was so cute seeing the baby’s hands moving about and its mouth moving! The sonographer was finally able to tell us the sex! We’re having a girl!! And shall be calling her Willow Rose. 

Gender Scan. Meet Willow Rose!

Willow because Aled and I love watching Buffy (Willow is one of our fave characters) and Rose after my nanna, Rosemary. We’d both agreed on Willow even before I fell pregnant and I’d chosen Rose not long after falling pregnant as I thought the two complimented each other nicely. Her middle name now has a little bitter sweetness surrounding it as my nanna sadly passed away on the 18th Oct after battling lung cancer for the last couple of years (unbeknownst to us, including Nanna, until recently). So I’m feeling a little teary as I write this. I never got a chance to tell her so I hope she’d feel touched that we chose her name.

The same day that we had the scan, I also had a consultant appointment. Ended up being there for 2 hours! I have white coat syndrome so whenever my blood pressure is taken its always high. It had to be taken 3 times(!) and because it was still high, I had to have an unexpected blood test which I sooo wasn’t prepared for! Me and needles are not friends and I always end up trying to stop myself having panic attacks and bursting into tears. It took 3 times for them to get blood out of me and was sent to phlebotomy for the last 2 times (as per usual with me). They always have trouble getting blood out of me but eventually they did it. The consultant has requested I get visited at home on a weekly basis to have my blood pressure taken to see if it will be at a normal heart rate. The midwife unit is not happy about visiting me at home and will come to see me only the once if my blood pressure turns out to be normal. The consultant has also arranged that I see the physio department about getting some crutches because being a below knee amputee whilst pregnant is taking its toll on my walking and I’m spending more and more time not wearing my leg due to being sore and achy. I’m also finding my hips and lower back are becoming more achy too. The one good thing about seeing the consultant was that we got to hear the baby’s heart beating! It was so amazing! Kinda made things feel more real!

Now that we know what we’re having, we can start buying more things! Yay! But less pink the better lol. And oh my gosh there is sooo much that we need to buy! The other day Aled bought me this changing bag:

  

Now I just need to find a pram/travel system to match it lol! I’d like to get a Cosatto and was a bit disappointed to find that an offer that Mothercare had on one that I liked has now ended so I’ll keep on looking. I think a pram/travel system will be our next big purchase and then the baby furniture. We already have a Moses basket and stand etc so don’t need to worry about that anymore. I’d also really like to get this bouncer for the baby:

Baby Bean Bag Snuggle Bed Bouncer .

It’s so darn cute and looks sooo comfy! If you click on the pic it should take you to the item on Amazon. I’ve been putting items on my Amazon baby wish list so bit by bit we’ll start buying things from there. All being well we’ll have everything we need by time little Willow arrives!

Wow, I seem to have written an awful lot today! I’m sorry for such a long post and if you’re still reading this then thank you for taking the time to stop by.  Now I must go and have a lovely cup of tea and maybe a mini hot cross bun! If I’m not careful, I think hot cross buns may be my craving lol!

Take care,

Dayna.

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